Nokia criticised for new flick-knife/mobile phone hybrid
Consumer groups have hit-out at Finnish mobile phone giant Nokia’s latest release, the sharp-phone. The model includes a retractable 5-inch blade, which flicks out on pressing * followed by the # key....
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Man with Bluetooth earpiece finally gets call while driving
After years of ribbing from workmates, 45-year-old accounts supervisor Dennis Tanner was vindicated today after receiving a call via his hands-free, ultra-light Bluetooth headset while travelling along...
View ArticleMan prosecuted for leaving public toilet as he would expect to find it
A 38-year-old accounts clerk who was fined £500 for his conduct in a public toilet in Swindon’s shopping centre early last month, is to appeal. ‘I had used this cubicle once before in October and...
View ArticleBAFTA nominated silent film ‘must see an end to cinema ban on mobile phones’
Uncivil libertarians were cock a hoop last night, after the British Academy of Film and Television Arts nominated The Artist, a silent movie, for an award. ‘At last, the powers that be have come to...
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Empire switches mobile contract to O2 amid Jedi bias allegations
Darth Vader the Dark Lord of the Sith today confirmed that the Imperial Empire have decided to switch their mobile operator from Vodafone to O2 after the company showed allegiance to the Jedi with a...
View ArticleApple launches public telephone facility, the iPhoneBox
Electronics giant Apple today marked the launch of its new product, small weatherproof structures to be positioned on streets at convenient locations around towns and cities, each equipped with an...
View ArticleSteve Jobs to launch iPhone 5 via ‘dial-in from the other side’
Tech industry insiders are speculating that before his death, Steve Jobs demanded a new feature be designed into the forthcoming iPhone5 – groundbreaking ‘Dearly Departed’ contact technology, enabling...
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iPhone user has ‘out-of-phone experience’ in-between operating systems
iPhone dependent Michael Potter has spoken of a bizarre ‘human-like experience’ today, when a delay in his download of iOS 7 to his iPhone 5 left him perilously exposed to the real world, with no...
View ArticleIslamic State releases iPhone 6 bending video
In their latest attempt to taunt the west, terrorists from the Islamic State have released a video showing a masked fighter deliberately bending a brand new iPhone 6. The ‘deeply harrowing’ footage...
View ArticleDom Joly denied Non Dom Dom Joly status
Dom Joly, who made his fortune as a mobile phone giant by shouting into a giant mobile phone, is to be forbidden non-domiciled tax status, according to HMRC. Non Dom Dom Joly will either have to live...
View ArticleWoman admitted to hospital following failed ‘womb-selfie’
A woman from Los Angeles has been admitted to hospital with severe pelvic injuries after storing a smartphone in her vagina for over three months in an attempt to encourage her unborn child to take a...
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